Literary Geekery

(It's bound to happen sometimes; I am a writer after all—and don't you say a word about all those unfinished stories that beg to differ.)


So, I read a lot. And every now and then there are sentences that stick in my head long after I've set aside the book in which I read them. This happens with a frequency that is depressingly low in proportion to the volume of words I read. Perhaps most writing is garbage. Maybe I'm reading the wrong stuff. Or maybe I read so much that I've become desensitized to words, my capability for awe lessened. But still. There continue to be a precious few sentences out there that can make me smile or chuckle or put down my book and gaze off into space, marveling at them, jealous that I didn't think of them first.


And so, I present the Persistent Sentences of the Moment:  

1) “This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street, and why wouldn't you pick it up if it appeared in a cab?” -Daniel Handler, Adverbs

2) “The shinier the apples of attraction, Vulture, the wormier their maggots of repulsion.” -David Mitchell, “What You Do Not Know You Want”

3) “Sometimes he'd read her a bit of his [book] and sometimes she'd vice him a little versa.” -Stephen King, “Lisey and the Madman”


1) This line is great because the whole love-is-beautiful-and-makes-everything-beautiful thing has been cliché for so long even Shakespeare was making fun of it back in the day (see Sonnet 130, one of my favorites). However, the backlash against this idea—that love is shitty and tragic and doesn't make anything any easier—has also been highly overdone. Thus, I find the sentiment that Handler expresses (that fine, love doesn't make the world a more savory place, that, in fact, the griminess of the world is in part what makes love appear to be such a lovely, desirable thing), a touching, memorable take on an old notion.

2) This line is great because I have never, ever, seen anyone express the adage "all that glitters is not gold" so uniquely, so awesomely, or with so much style. And also, that word, wormier. It just gets me. It's the kind of off-beat part-of-speech usage I like to employ. Oh, how I wish this sentence were mine.

3) The Stephen King line, again, obviously, stuck in my head because of the unusual way of using the words. Vice him a little versa. Kind of corny, but so clever, so novel, so something the average writer would never even bother trying out because it's "incorrect."


In knitting news, one Blueberry Waffle Sock (or, in my case, wild berry) down, one to go:

I didn't particularly enjoy knitting in the round with four needles flopping about all the time, but I got used to it and it wasn't difficult. And if I'm suffering from a bout of Second Sock Syndrome, well I'm not the only one.

Yen, Again

I have a problem with T-shirts. The problem is this: I love them and want to buy them all up (provided they are funny, or geeky, or literary, or nostalgic, or, well, you get the idea). Today, I discovered that in addition to offering great handmade Christmas ornaments, such as Super Mario Mushrooms and Video Game Controllers (that neither I nor Clark were actually able to buy this year despite separate, secret attempts), some people on Etsy.com also make awesome T-shirts. For instance, ones covered in:

robots,

famous robots,

and, last but not nearly least, the Carbon Cycle.

Let me tell you, T-shirts at this level of awesomenessitudity are very dangerous to discover on a boring day full of no work and no company and no motivation to write. I may have actually suffered a moment of weakness and purchased one. Which is bad. Very bad. Because I have a job approximately one eighth the size of the average person. And because I have every intention of buying a bunch of yarn and needles to make the Bad Penny T-shirt next week (when the colors I want become available on Knitpicks.com).

It's also bad because one T-shirt is never enough. Maybe it's the RPG fiend in me, but I gotta catch 'em all. I must have options. I must have a T-shirt to match the tone of any situation I might potentially find myself in. It doesn't matter that most of the time, my situation is: at home, knitting. I must prepare for all eventualities. People who happen to glance at my chest must be able to immediately glean random aspects of my character, such as, I love robots, or, I learned about the Carbon Cycle in ninth grade Biology class and still vaguely remember it. 

What I'm saying is, if anyone ever feels like buying me something for, say, my birthday, or Christmas, or to celebrate the equinox (coming up very, very soon; just putting that out there), you now know where to go and which habit to support.

Kai (Release—From Genjutsu, Which Is What This Must Be, No?)

So, I was watching Naruto on Hulu yesterday, and I saw an advertisement for the Shippuden Collectible Card Game. It's turn based, a la Magic: The Gathering. I had no idea such a thing existed, but it makes sense: there is a wealth of characters, attacks, defenses, etc. in Naruto. What I found strange though, was that the two cards used to promote the game were student Naruto and Sasuke:

                                            

Don't get me wrong. It's not at all surprising that these are the two characters that would be used to promote the game; everyone knows their intense, angsty, twisted rival-friend-brother relationship thing is what the show is really all about. However, student Sasuke and Naruto do not exist. They're alternate universe characters that only ever appeared in the show's closing credits. Granted, that ending was one of my favorite ones (right behind samurai Naruto and Sasuke). I mean, who doesn't love Naruto in that Yondaime-esque jacket? But still, these two seem out of place in a deck of battle cards to me.

Bad ass jutsu:

Makes sense.

Scary ninjas:

Of course.

Deadly situations:

Duh.

But student Naruto and Sasuke? What are their powers? Charm? Excellent penmanship? Proficiency at school yard brawls?

And one other thing: what's up with Naruto's power being lightning instead of wind? Perhaps when the game was released Naruto's wind affinity hadn't yet been revealed, so they just assigned him a random element? Hm, mayhaps this warrants further investigation. But no, no, I have no interest in playing. Because these sorts of games are for ten-year-old boys and crazy fanatics, neither of which I am, of course. Not solely because the instruction manual for the game is 25 pages long. It's not like I'd be dying to play if the learning curve were even slightly less steep or anything... 

Word of the Day: Yen (As in, a Desire or Craving)

In my 2010 Despair, Inc calendar, March's theme is bitterness. The accompanying quote is, "Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams." The photo is of a sand castle crumbling as the tide comes in. I love my Despair, Inc calendar because it is very me, i.e., ha ha ha, that would be so sad if it were serious, but it's only a joke...mostly. Remember that Chappelle's Show line, "Oh, this racism is killing me inside"? It's like that. You grit your teeth and you laugh and both gestures are genuine.

As March begins, companies still refuse to hire me, magazines still refuse to accept my stories, I have to grudgingly admit that both BioShock 2 and Mass Effect 2 were ultimately disappointments (more on this some other time, perhaps some other place), and I think there's a mouse living underneath my stove. I think the thing about the mouse not based upon any first-hand sightings, but rather on my cats' behavior. They spend an inordinate amount of time these days staring at the stove. For example:

.

And it's not just Leon. Ada does it, too:

So I can't just discount it as Leon being a dummy.

On the up side, I just finished a new story, which always makes me feel good. And the knitting is going well. I got really, really bored with the leg warmers I was supposed to be knitting next (22 inches of plain black stockinette stitch—what was I thinking? I'm beginning to understand why people end up knitting neon striped sweaters covered in polka dots, reindeer, and ribbons. If I ever sink that low, though, please, someone slap me.), so I started a sweater. And then finished it.

It's thick and warm and looks just about exactly the way it's supposed to, despite my wariness about the circular needle that was required to create the turtleneck. It was weird, like a snake eating its own tail every round, but not difficult. The sweater is rather bulky, though, and obviously handmade, so I doubt I'll ever wear it outside the house, but it's comfortable for indoors, so I consider the endeavor a success.

Meanwhile, there's still 3/4 of one leg warmer technically in progress. In reality, I am now working on a pair of socks, the Blueberry Waffle Socks of semi internet knitting fame. I've been kind of dying to try the waffle stitch since I glimpsed the Waffle Stitch Thermal on Knitty, but I'm nowhere near skilled or patient (a whole sweater on 3 millimeter needles in fingering weight yarn? I can't even begin to fathom how long that would take. Imagine building a log cabin out of dental floss and sticks of pencil lead or something equally ridiculous.) enough for that yet, so socks it is for now.

In other (fictional obsession) realms, Uchiha Sasuke continues to majorly, majorly, majorly depress me; while I enjoyed Darker than Black, I felt just as wtf about its universe at the end of the show as I did at the beginning, so I suppose I'll have to watch the sequel (possibly that was the point all along); Chuck has been invaded by characters from various Superman universes; and I miss Supernatural something awful. Episodes of season five are airing every week, but I missed the first ten, so now I can't watch any until reruns start or the season comes out on DVD. I am in serious withdrawal. I miss Dean.

And Castiel!

And that Sam guy, too. I guess.

Doh well. For now I shall just listen to "Ready for Love" by Bad Company about a billion times and imagine Dean's naked back. I mean...I would never do that. Cus that would be weird. On many levels. Um. Yeah. Bye now.